Hi Dad,
For some reason I’m really missing you this morning. I can’t believe it’s been 10 1/2 years since you’ve been gone.
How have you been? I’ve been ok, I guess. Can’t really complain. Well I could, but what would be the point, you know? Wouldn’t change anything by doing that, and who wants to hear it? Plus, you know, why complain about some things that are so trivial in my life when compared to some of the things other people have to go through, right? But I still do sometimes, anyway, even though I try not to. Human nature, I guess, huh?
HEY!!! Can you believe these Royals?? Almost won it all last year! 90 feet away from tying it up at the end… and then it was over. I think Gordon would have been out on that play. Would have taken ANOTHER miracle for the shortstop to mess up that relay throw, don’t ya think? I think this year they’ll be back in it. Hopefully it’s them and those Cardinals. I guess we’ll see.
Earlier this morning I was lying in bed not wanting to crawl out yet, cause I’m off work today, and doggone it…. I didn’t wanna get up at 6 a.m.! You know how that is. But anyway, I was lying there playing with my phone… and I was playing solitaire. (Yeah… I know, productive, right? Hahahaa!) But I remembered how you used to sit at the kitchen table a lot, playing solitaire. Can you believe you don’t need an actual physical deck of cards to do that now? Well, I guess you didn’t when you were still here, we did have computers then, but now you can do it on a phone.
Yeah, quite a bit has changed since I saw you last. I guess you know the Chiefs are climbing back up the ladder, too. I think they’re gonna be much better this year, too.
I still think about you quite often. Not necessarily every day but almost. Some days I think about you and miss you but it’s not too bad. Some days are like today and it’s almost overwhelming.
I miss talking to you, Dad. I miss just being around you, drinking coffee, playing cards, watching ballgames. And I miss having you around to ask you about things. You know… what would you do about this or that… how would you handle this situation or the other. Even though I didn’t always take your advice, I wanted and needed your input on things sometimes. I never realized then how much I took for granted you being around for that.
Sure, I still have other people to do that, you know… family and good friends like Rob. But you know, sometimes you just want to talk to your dad and get his thoughts. I guess there’s a certain comfort in just that, at least there was for me, anyway. I’m sorry, Dad, for taking you for granted. I’m sorry for not realizing then just how little time I had left with you, and not being more appreciative for your being there for me.
I hope you understand. I’m sure you do. You always were very understanding about stuff. I miss that about you.
Dad, I hope I was a good son to you. I did try. I hope you realized then how much I did love you, Dad. You were a great father. A great Dad. And I know you tried as hard as you could to be as good a Dad as you could.
We all miss you and love you, Dad.
Anyway, I’m going to sign off for now. My eyes are leaking a little and I was just really missing you and wanted to talk to you and tell you that. I wish I could see you and hug you. I’ll get to one day soon enough, I guess.
Til next time, Dad. Again, I love you and miss you.
See ya.
Love,
Always your son, David.
Uncategorized
My Salute To Our American Veterans
Veteran’s Day. Formerly known as Armistice Day. Often overlooked. Most of us have to work. As a result, it kind of seems to slip under the radar for many people. No backyard BBQ’s, no big family get-togethers.
And it’s a shame. It should have the same importance as Memorial Day and Independence Day.
You may have seen this posted or shared on Facebook:
I have no clue who this young lady is, just have seen this posted various times over the last couple of years or so. People such as Miss Hayes here fail to understand how different their lives could be without our nation’s Armed Forces. She’s not necessarily an idiot for her belief. She’s simply ignorant, because her parents did not teach her anything about our nation’s heritage.
And as times have changed, our military presence is just as, if not more, necessary as ever. Stalin, Mussolini, and Hitler have been succeeded by the likes of Putin, Kim Jong-un, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, the taliban, and ISIS.
There will always be those who hate us for who and what we are, for what we stand for. Part of this we bring on ourselves as a nation of greed, ignorance, arrogance, and pomposity. We take for granted the rights and liberties that so many have fought, suffered and died to preserve for us, their future generations. And we show our thanks by hurting each other, hating our fellow man, raping and molesting our women and children, murdering each other, bullying and being rude to one another. We burn our nation’s flag, disrespecting it, disrespecting our nation, our military, our rich heritage and those who have fought and died for us. Our President (whom WE elected) disrespects the same by “saluting” or not, since it’s not really a salute, the men and women sworn and assigned to protect him and us. (Read my post on that here)
Certain things and certain days tend to make me tear up a bit. Thinking about my Dad, my kids, days like Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day… among others. Too many people don’t realize what it takes. When a military person, especially one in a position that could land them in a combat situation, steps back from their life momentarily to think about the gravity of what they could potentially be thrown into, it can, and should, give him/her a whole new attitude and perspective. It does take real and tangible courage to go forth from that point.
If you are reading this and have served, or are serving, you have my utmost respect, and I thank you and salute you. If you have family as such, I thank you as well, for enduring the knowledge that if your loved one(s) are called into action, there is a real possibility that you may never see them again. I pray that never happens for you.
I do have to work tomorrow, this Veteran’s Day, and may not have the opportunity tomorrow, but I intend to take the next opportunity I have, the next servicemember I encounter, to buy that person a meal, as a small token of my gratitude.
My Dad, the Kansas City Royals, and the World Series
Hi Dad,
It’s been 10 years this month that you’ve been gone from this earth. I miss you so much. You are the reason I am a Royals fan, and a Chiefs fan. You instilled it in me. I remember so many times watching games with you, listening on the radio while sitting outside in the shade with a cool drink, or playing catch, or at the kitchen table playing cards. I miss those days.
They were awfully good back then, huh? Remember the Pine Tar Game? I know you do, that was just crazy, huh?
And look at ’em now! After all those years in futility, so many times we dissected the games, talking about what went wrong, or occasionally, what went right. Here they are in 2014, in the World Series!! I can’t believe it!!! Can you? I know you are just smiling and laughing big up there in Heaven.
Only thing I wish I could change… is that you could be here with me to watch tonight, as they take on the Giants in game 7. But I know you’re with me in spirit. Let’s cheer them on together, what do ya say?
Oh…. and if they get in a tight spot tonight, feel free to give a little help to a Billy Butler fly ball, ok?
You know I love you still.
Say it with me Dad…. LET’S GO ROYALS!!! LET’S GO ROYALS!!! LET’S GO ROYALS!!!
Always your son,
David
The Kansas City Royals “Really Aren’t That Good”
The Royals “really aren’t that good”.
That’s one comment I read among many, making the similar sentiment.
These two from the same person, Darren A, an Orioles fan:
For all you banned wagon KC fans, your team is really not that good
KC is a CINDERELLA TEAM, they are not that good
Here’s another from Cindy T., also an Orioles fan:
Royals fans…63% capacity at games, 26th in fan support! Facts…listen to Colin Cowherd from this AM, espn radio. Os not having chris, matt, manny hurt. No bats, no starting pitching, bad umps. Enjoy band wagon royal fans, you won’t be there next year!
Are you kidding me? Allow me to dissect the arguments made by Darren and Cindy, which have been echoed by quite a few fans of other teams.
I’ll leave the “not that good” part til last.
So first up, let’s talk about the Orioles missing three key players.
- Chris Davis: Through 127 games and 450 at-bats this season, which, of course was prior to his being suspended for amphetamine use, he slugged 26 home runs, had 72 RBI’s. Respectable there, but not really startling numbers. While doing that, his batting average was a very modest .196. Hardly a line to shoulder a significant amount of blame on his loss to the team. Next…
- Matt Wieters: Batting a solid .308 average with 5 home runs through 26 games and 104 at-bats, it bears a solid argument for a significant loss to the team’s lineup. However, 26 games into the season was just a start, and since then Caleb Joseph and Nick Hundley have filled in. Maybe not quite what Wieters may have done over the full course of the season, but hey, the O’s got to the ALCS with Joseph and Hundley doing the vast majority of the work this year.
- Manny Machado: 82 games, 327 AB’s. 12 dingers, with a .278 avg. Respectable. His is the best case for argument in losing a quality player. But… that was in August, and Ryan Flaherty is a decent player.
Secondly, “no bats”. True enough, but might that be in part attributed to the Royals’ pitching? Granted, none of the pitchers on the staff seem to be the second comings of Sandy Koufax or Don Larsen. But the Royals starters, by and large, throughout the regular season, kept the game within reach for the win to make it to the real strength of KC’s pitching staff, the bullpen. And through the regular season, the Royals’ three-headed bullpen monster of Kelvin Herrera’s ERA of 1.41, Wade Davis’ of 1.00 (yes, really….1.00!), and Greg Holland’s 1.44 are literally historic. No team in the history of MLB has had two relievers with an ERA under 1.50 with at least 60 innings pitched. The Royals had three. That is truly remarkable.
Johnny Damon sees a similarity to what Joe Torre had in his Yankees pen.
No bats. Ok, Take solace where you must, I suppose.
Now for the “no starting pitching aspect of Cindy’s argument. Ok, for the first two games of the ALCS in Baltimore, I can give you that part, with KC tagging O’s starters Chris Tillman and Bud Norris for 5 and 4 runs, respectively. But Miguel Gonzalez and Wei-Yin Chen kept Baltimore in the game for games 3 and 4, limiting KC to 2 runs each. Now look back at the Royals’ pitching again.
Bad umps?? Really, where were the controversial calls that went KC’s way? What calls did they get wrong in this ALCS series? All of the close calls that were reviewed, showed that the correct call was made. The only POSSIBLE exception was one that could have gone the Royals’ way, that being when Jarrod Dyson was thrown out stealing 2nd base, where he came off the bag and Jonathan Schoop kept the tag on Dyson’s leg. The question that some have is did Schoop assist in Dyson’s leg coming off the base. I personally am not sure either way as it’s hard to tell from the replay.
Now for the comment of “not that good”. Really? So, all the incredible diving catches in the Royals outfield by Cain, Gordon, Aoki… all the catches where they had to run forever to get to the ball to catch it… the foul pop catch and the dive to snare the line drive by Moustakas in Game 4… the heads-up play by Hosmer at first, diving to the bag to get the out… the base-running first-to-third, second-to-home, stolen bases… the clutch hitting… the stellar pitching… eight straight wins over 3 very good teams….
Not that good?? Ok, so you might say they got lucky. Fine. Let’s consider that. First of all, there has to be some luck involved in any sport. Line drives hit right at fielders, etc. Granted, there was some of that, but that’s baseball. But you can’t say that the diving catches, the speed and base-running, the pitching were all luck. Ok, maybe they got lucky on the diving catches, that the batted balls in question were such that they were able to get to them to make that diving catch. Whatever, hahaha. If that makes you feel better, then sure, go ahead and say that.
But as for me and my fellow (in my case, lifelong) “bandwagon” Royals fans, we know what we have here. And we know what we’ve gone through over the years, the jabs, the teasing, the barbs about following a losing team, a team that has been the farm system for the rest of baseball. We get it, and it’s ok. Yeah, there are some “bandwagon” fans, there are in every sport, for every team, and we have our share, just as do the Yankees, Orioles, Red Sox and every other team.
But this year, this season….. this…… is OUR YEAR, OUR SEASON…. THIS IS OUR TIME.
You don’t have to like it, you’re not obligated to. But we would appreciate it if you would allow us to enjoy it, for we, the fans of the Kansas City Royals, have earned it.
P.S. #SFGiants … you’re next. Remember? #Royals swept you this year already. #WorldSeries
The President’s Latte Salute, and Why It’s Disrespectful
Mr. President, you should be ashamed of yourself.
For anyone who does not understand why this is kind of…. no, not kind of… most definitely, it is, a BIG deal, I’ll explain, from a military person’s point of view.
What I’m talking about, in case you haven’t heard about it, is President Obama saluting Marines with his coffee cup in his hand. (video link here)
Yes, he is our President. And yes, as such, deserves the respect that the position commands.
You may say “Well, he’s never served in the military, so how would he know? Shouldn’t he get a pass for not knowing the protocol?”
No, he absolutely should NOT. Here is why:
As President, he also holds the title of Commander-in-Chief, which is a military title.
When in the military, two of the very first things you learn is:
1. Your chain of command, starting with your immediate supervisor, all the way up to the highest commander of each branch of the military: Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, and Coast Guard.
Their supervisor is the Secretary of Defense, followed by the Vice President, and ultimately the President of the United States,or in the military capacity, the Commander-in-Chief.
2. The military salute, which will be explained in a moment.
Enlisted servicemembers are required to salute all officers, and officers are required to salute officers senior to them. The Commander-in-Chief is the most senior ranking military person and is considered an officer, even though he or she may have no prior military service.
It is common military courtesy, but not required, for the ranking officer to return the salute. Generally though, it is considered rude and disrespectful for the salute to NOT be returned.
(note: Policies and procedure on saluting vary from one nation’s military to another. I am speaking only regarding the United States military)
There is only ONE correct way to salute. Taken from the Army Study Guide:
“The proper way to salute when wearing the beret or without headgear is to raise your right hand until the tip of your forefinger touches the outer edge of your right eyebrow (just above and to the right of your right eye). When wearing headgear, the forefinger touches the headgear slightly above and to the right of your right eye. Your fingers are together, straight, and your thumb snug along the hand in line with the fingers. Your hand, wrist, and forearm are straight, forming a straight line from your elbow to your fingertips. Your upper arm (elbow to shoulder) is horizontal to the ground.”
For more about the history of the military salute, click the “Army Study Guide” link above or here. Great information on this.
Sometimes people get lackadaisical and a bit lazy about it, not raising their arm all the way up or not having their hand as straight as technically it should be. Those types of things are commonly overlooked. However, having something in the saluting hand would NEVER be tolerated.
When I was in the Army, if I had saluted that way, I would certainly have been admonished, corrected and made to demonstrate the correct way to salute.
That being said, President Obama, out of respect to our country, respect to our nation’s veterans, past and present, respect to those who have given their all paying the ultimate sacrifice in order to preserve the rights and freedoms that we all enjoy, has the responsibility, which he assumed upon taking the Oath of Office, since he had no prior military experience, to educate himself on proper military customs and courtesies.
The President of the United States should lead not only from the position of authority, but by example and by character.
His blatant disregard for either refusing to learn those responsibilities, and neglecting to properly salute those remanded to protect him and our country, is flat-out disrespecting not only those soldiers in that particular instance, but ALL veterans past and present, all those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice, and our great nation.
Mr. President, for a man who is so concerned about “offending” people, you certainly have no qualms about offending those of us who have served or are currently serving our great nation, and zero concerns about offending our Constitution, our flag, or our country for which these things stand.
You owe a sincere apology to all military servicemen and women under your command, veterans such as myself, and to our nation. You have offended us once again.
Adrian Peterson
Let me first say that I do not claim to be any kind of expert on anything, particularly parenting. All I know is what worked on me growing up, and what worked on my daughter as I raised her.
For more on that please read my previous post on this subject: (and please…. DO read this, particularly if you wish to comment, and I thank you)
That being said, I would like to throw out my 2-cents on this big controversy regarding Adrian Peterson.
The Minnesota Vikings running back has been in the news lately regarding his indictment on child abuse charges.
I have seen the pictures of the child’s legs, and there are multiple welts and bruising.
In my opinion, based on the images alone, it seems to me that he did take it a bit overboard, particularly given that his son is only 4 years old.
I never did use a switch, belt, or any other object when disciplining my daughter. Not that I was afraid to, or that I thought it was wrong, because that would be untrue.
Rather, it was simply because I never felt the need to. As you read earlier in this article, I rarely actually needed to spank her at all.
And I firmly believe this is due in part to several factors: one of the primary being her personality, also the physical strength of the swats I delivered, and the early age at which I first made the impression upon her.
As I said, the swats weren’t hard at all, really. Definitely not even close to being hard enough to leave any kind of mark whatsoever, and honestly, through her diaper, I doubt she hardly felt it physically.
In the case of Adrian Peterson, I do not know him personally, so I cannot speak to the level of his character.
However there is little to no evidence that I have ever heard that would support the notion that he is a horrible person, or a horrible father. I don’t believe, after hearing his statement on this incident, that he is either of these.
I get the impression that he tries to be a good person AND a good father, and simply overdid it on this occasion. That does not make it right, and he may in fact, have some issues that need to be resolved, particularly in the area of his judgement regarding the matter.
I believe I was extremely fortunate in that I made the exact right choices in my daughter’s discipline in regard to the timing and harshness, and that her personality was receptive to it.
Spanking does not work for every parent, nor does it work for every child. Neither does “time-out” in a corner, removing privileges, and extra chores, etc. (yes, I got all of those things a few times as a child, also, and also did that type of discipline with Meri, and thankfully they all worked great with her).
One thing I DO have an issue with, is the media outlets and news personalities sensationalizing things, twisting words out of context, for the sole purpose of drumming up viewers and their own publicity ratings for their own benefit.
Case in point: Keith Olbermann saying that a “small tree branch” was used in the discipline.
While technically correct, his statement is completely twisting the situation out of context, and makes Peterson sound as if the item used in the discipline was something like a club or baseball bat, which is completely UNtrue, and making himself sound like a philanthropic saint of humanity.
Mr. Olbermann, while I am not comparing your situation of a couple of years ago to Mr. Peterson’s situation here, as that would be apples to oranges, remember that you are no stranger to controversy yourself, and one who lives in a glass house should not throw stones.
Racial Equality: My Thoughts
Dr. Martin Luther King must be rolling in his grave. True racial justice and equality can never happen. It will never happen because there will always be white people who believe that any other race but white, are beneath them. I do not feel this way.
Similarly, it will never happen because there will always be Native Americans who harbor bitterness towards white people for encroaching on their land. It is true, “we” did. I didn’t, it was my ancestors, 600 years ago.
It will never happen because there will always be black people who harbor bitterness towards white people for the injustices, persecutions, and hatred that were inflicted on their forefathers by my forefathers. It is true, it happened, but not at MY hands. To a degree, it still happens today, but not at MY hands.
Personally, I am fed up with all of the racist talk that I’ve been reading all over the internet. I have read many of the comments on several of the many news articles about what happened in Ferguson, Mo.
I actually saw several comments blatantly saying that “all white people are racist bigoted pigs and should be exterminated.”
Seriously. Why should I, as a white man, be held accountable and responsible for retribution for horrible acts committed by my ancestors several generations ago?
Yet in the same breath, those same people will talk about how we are all equal and should all strive for peace???
Many black people (NOT all) will quote Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, while hanging onto the bitterness and hatred toward the white people for those heinous acts, as if every white person who has ever walked the earth is or has been a slave owner, and will show favoritism towards a black person for a job, an award, or just in everyday life.
Is this the equality and justice that Dr. King’s Dream was? I don’t believe so.
“But there is something that I must say to my people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.”Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
I Have A Dream, August 28, 1963
A good friend of mine happens to have the same name as the man who led the Confederate Army in the Civil War, Robert E. Lee.
Rob happens to be white, and has been judged by some people, based solely on his name, without even speaking to him, or knowing one other thing about him.
Is this right? No, it is not. Rob is a good man, and a great friend. He is honest, hard-working, a good father and husband. He has no pre-judgement towards anyone regardless or race, creed, color, or religion. However, he has been discriminated against based on his name alone. He did not choose his name, it was given to him by his parents.
Neither Rob, myself, or any other white person chose to be born white, any more than any other person chose to be born the race they were.
Should a person be judged based solely on the color of their skin, by their gender, by their name, or by their religion? Of course not.
If you are reading this, and happen to be black, you may be thinking something that has been said to me before:
“Well, you’re not black, so you cannot understand what my people have gone through.”
True enough, I’m not, therefore I cannot. However, consider what a white person such as myself has on his mind. I am afraid. Not for myself, but for my friends and family. For example, afraid that my daughter may walk down the street, and encounter a person of color who feels that all white people “need to be exterminated”. So they gang up on her, rape, torture and kill her in order to further the cause for their hatred, in an attempt to recoup some of the retribution they feel they deserve.
Suppose I were to travel to Ferguson, Mo, and offer myself up as a martyr, a retributional sacrifice? If I walked out on the streets of that town, and stood in the middle of the street, and yelled “I am here because of the transgressions of my forefathers and offer my life to atone for their wrongdoings against your race.” What do you suppose would happen? I would be willing to bet that there would be a significant chance that someone would act upon that. There would also be a good chance that some good person of color would approach me and tell me not to do that, that it’s not necessary and would not change things.
I’m just saying that there are enough people who would do it.
Would either of these make things right? No, it would not. Would this change the implied fact that our grandfather of many generations ago, had slaves? No, it would not. Would it change the implied fact that our grandfather of many generations ago, beat and killed a black woman? No, it would not. Neither my daughter or myself has done anything wrong towards ANY race, has committed NO moral wrong on a racial basis, so why should WE personally be made to pay?
If you happen to think along these lines and disagree with me, consider this: If my mother was raped, tortured and killed by a black man, would it make it right for me to say and believe that every black person is evil and should be wiped out of existence? Absolutely not, that would be completely unreasonable.
There are good people and bad people of every race and color. A man’s worth is not determined by the color of his skin, but by his character.
This month, 51 years ago, Dr. Martin Luther King set a bar for justice and equality in our great nation. This bar has not yet been met. We, as a nation, have come close, but have failed and will continue to fail, as long as there are those who continue to harbor bitterness towards others because of the color of their skin.
To close, I will again quote Dr. King, because I believe it bears repeating again and again, ad infinitum, ad nauseam, and it should be heeded not only by black people, or white, or any specific race, but by EVERY race, EVERY creed, EVERY color:
“In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.”
Rush Limbaugh on Robin Williams
Rush, this time you are wrong! Oh boy, are you ever wrong.
I do realize that you make your living as a “shock-jock” and “attention whore” and intentionally make radical statements to draw publicity. But in doing so, quite frequently you are offensive to the extreme, which contrary to your thinking, does NOT influence people to your desired effect. That is, unless you WANT to drive politically middle-of-the-road people such as myself farther to the left, and further entrench those already on the left.
Politically I generally consider myself leaning more to the right, and I generally agree with you on many things.
However, regarding Robin Williams tragic suicide, you are wrong on so many levels.
Your comments on his death are insensitive, uncaring, uncouth, and just downright despicable and disgusting.
I hope and pray that you never have to deal with the demon that is depression.
Apparently you never have, because if you had, you would surely know that depression does not discriminate based on a person’s political views, nor does it discriminate based on creed, culture, race, gender, or religion.
And if you knew that, then you surely would never make such awful statements. Unless you’re that mean and cold-hearted of a person.
So, are you, Rush?
Are you really that much of an ass?
Please allow me to educate you and give you a bit of insight into the mind of a person who does deal with the evil that depression is. Bear in mind that my experience is not all-encompassing for people who suffer from this, but I’ve been told by several that my description is a good representation.
http:// jackwagondave.wordpress.com/2014/08/12/depression-suicide-and-my-story
If this isn’t enough material for you, here are a few more excellent articles.
Please ignore if it seems that the authors may lean too much to the left for you, for in matters such as depression and suicide, political standings shouldn’t even matter.
If this still isn’t enough, please feel free to use the search engine of your choice to search for articles on the subject and educate yourself.
But please sir, educate yourself on such sensitive issues before making such asinine, insensitive statements.
http://m.blogher.com/what-suicide-isn-t-rip-robin-williams
http://www.mademan.com/the-dirty-secret-of-mens-depression/
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5672519?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063
Depression, Suicide, and My Story.
I’m going to bare my soul a bit tonight. This is a subject near and dear to my heart, and some of you may be shocked at what you discover.
Today we lost a most beloved actor, that of Robin Williams. Early reports are that it was suicide. Awful. It was said that he had been battling severe depression as of late, and apparently it got the better of him.
It happens all too often, and those who have never battled this demon, can never understand. It’s incomprehensible to most people. Some religions believe that one who commits suicide goes straight to Hell, “Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”
Some people say it’s selfish, and condemn and put down someone who does this, saying
“Well goodbye, then, I’m glad you’re gone.”
To be honest, it breaks my heart when I hear someone say this. Depression will literally suck the life right out of you. There is no rational thought process, so when your brain tells you to call someone, even when someone specifically has told you to call them anytime, for any reason, doesn’t matter how good a friend that person is, or how much they’ve told you they care. When you are in that downward spiral, all rational thought is lost.
Depression is, quite literally, a living hell. If you do not deal with this, allow me to attempt to explain it to you.
Imagine the worst emotional pain you’ve ever experienced in your life. Now multiply that times 10. No, make it 1,000. You cannot imagine that, right? Exactly my point.
Imagine walking along a pathway, through somewhere nice. Everything is going well, you’re feeling good, life is good, it’s a beautiful day.
You might or might not be able to see it in front of you, a hole in the ground. Even if you can see it, it’s too big to go around. Inertia is pushing you forward and you are powerless to go anywhere but straight ahead. You might be able to slow down a bit, but can’t quite completely stop.
You get closer to it and you’re too scared to look down as you approach it. Eventually you reach it, and if you couldn’t see it in front of you, then you don’t even have any idea what’s about to happen.
But then, there you are. One more step and you’re in it. You begin to fall, and as you do, you grasp for anything to grab onto, to keep from going down. You grasp and grab at the edges of the hole, the grass slipping between your fingers, the dirt falling off the edge around you and with you. And you keep falling. And falling…. Seconds go by. And falling….. Minutes. Falling…….. Hours. And falling…………………. Farther and farther. You are terrified.
You have no idea when, or if, you will find the bottom, certain that if or when you do, that you will die.
That is a bit like how it is for someone battling depression, except it’s not just inertia that is pushing you forward toward that hole.
Could be any number of things, really. Maybe it’s just a chemical imbalance, but for most, that’s not all it is. It’s the inertia of whatever emotional pain that person has gone through in his or her life. Childhood abuse, be it sexual, physical, or emotional. Having been bullied as a child. Eating disorders. Broken marriages, drug dependency, alcohol abuse, financial woes. You name it.
But those things can all be fixed, right? You just need to get help! Right??
Oh, but if only it were that easy. Sometimes, medication does help, sometimes talking to someone helps, sometimes a combination of the two helps. Those of us who deal with this, know that we can do that, and we do. We take all those things which we are bitter about, and put them behind us, forgive those who’ve wronged us, laid them at the feet of God, etc.
But they are still there. Then new things pop up. New problems that arise just from going through life. Our children grow and make decisions we don’t agree with and we worry. Medical issues come up, causing great financial strain. Communication breaks down in your marriage. Infidelity of a spouse. Losing a loved one.
These things pile up and must be dealt with, but sometimes it’s just overwhelming.
So you start to wonder…. “What if I could just go away? What if I could just leave and never come back and all this pain would be gone?”
You start to devise a plan. You don’t want it to be messy, you don’t want to have certain people find you. You don’t want to suffer in physical pain when you do “it”. You wonder how your body will change after you pass, if your appearance will be grotesque.
So you research different ways, but what to believe?
Finally you make a decision. For the purpose of this representation we’ll say you’ve decided on a bullet.
So you manage to find a gun and a bullet. In tears and sobbing uncontrollably, you load it into the chamber and put it to your temple.
Finally, it’s about to be over. But then you stop. Wait, maybe I’ll call (insert your best friend’s name here)… he/she said I could call them any time. So then you think about it…… no, it’s too embarrassing…. No one understands what I go through. I’ll be put in a mental ward and that will add to my bills. They’ll just tell me to stop. But do they really care? DO THEY REALLY CARE??
All this time, you’ve got tears streaming down your face, you are sobbing and heaving uncontrollably, all that pain from all those years going through your head.
And another voice speaks up inside your head:
“JUST DO IT. JUST DO IT AND IT WILL BE OVER.”
So you place the gun to your temple again. (repeat previous thoughts, remove gun, repeat twice, maybe 100 times).
Finally…. You’re ready. You raise your hand, barrel against the skin of your head……..
“JUST DO IT JUST DO IT JUST DO IT JUST DO……”
And it’s done.
I’ve been there. Just didn’t quite go that far, not even close, really, and not in the same manner. But the thoughts are virtually the same. The worst was a couple of years ago. I once sat for 3 hours in a parking lot at Longview Lake in Kansas City, Mo contemplating my life and what it would be like if I was gone.
I will tell you the one thing that stopped me, and that is this:
What would I be doing to my loved ones? What about those who do care about me? What about my kids, my Mom, my sisters and brothers? What about my friends? A few of my friends have dealt with this very thing already, how much am I going to hurt them by doing this? I don’t want to put anyone I love through that. How would I feel if someone I loved did this? I would be heartbroken to the point that it would be miserable for God knows how long.
So this I ask of you: When someone does this, please, please don’t hold them in contempt.
Do not scorn them, or mock them. You know nothing of the demons they battled.
Do not judge. Everyone you meet is battling something of which you know nothing about.
I think I’m done now.
Now please, tell those you hold dear how much you love them. Tell them you care.
And go do something nice for someone. If you’re having a rough day, you’ll feel better, I promise.
Joe the Plumber and His Message For the Victims of Elliot Rodger
You may or may not have heard that Joe the Plumber, whose real name is Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, has some harsh words for the families of the victims of Elliot Rodger. As you’ve probably heard, Rodger was the 22 year old man who killed seven people, including himself, and wounded 13 others in his horrific “retribution”. Rodger recorded a disturbing, vile, manifesto the day before his awful final act of insanity.
You probably know from my previous posts, if you’ve read them, or if you know me as a person, that I am adamantly pro-gun, with a slight lean towards gun-control, ONLY in the aspect of background checks to make it more difficult for people who are already known to be mentally disturbed to obtain them. But that is where my lean to the Left in this issue stops.
Sidenote: I do understand that when laws are written, many times they are grouped together with other items in order to “sneak through” certain things that otherwise would NOT be passed into law. They also tend to be worded in such a way as to leave openings for the passed law to be furthered to the point that it would jeopardize the “nuts and bolts” of our Constitution.
I have read several comments from both people on the Right and the Left, and frankly, too many of them are so far into their own views, that they fail to see the reasonable middle ground.
I would like to give MY take on Joe’s letter, so here goes:
“I’m not talking here about the three tragic murders Rodger committed by stabbing before his driving and shooting spree; I speak now only to the families of the gunshot victims in Santa Barbara:”
Some of the comments I read harped on his opening statement, talking about how insensitive it was for him to “ignore” those people. Granted, he could have extended his condolences to those, in this initial statement also, but what the reason he said this, I believe, is because he is speaking directly to those affected by the loss of their loved ones from the gunshots (specifically Mr. Martinez, whose son was killed in the tragedy, because of his anti-gun comments, understandably, speaking from the pain in his heart for his son). At the end of the letter he does, in fact, speak to those people.
Several times, he expresses his condolences and sympathy…
“It’s a tragedy.
I am sorry you lost your child. I myself have a son and daughter and the one thing I never want to go through, is what you are going through now. But:
“As harsh as this sounds – your dead kids don’t trump my Constitutional rights.”
Say what you want about this, but he is absolutely correct. Granted, these are harsh words. Not tactful at all. Not sympathetic. But correct. Nothing, not even an act as heinous as Rodger’s, should overrule the Constitution on which our Nation was founded. IF there is anything, and granted, mass murder by firearms is a topic that SHOULD be discussed regarding it’s standing in our Constitution. Anything with the magnitude of taking a human life, must be. However, it must be looked at and discussed from a reasonable, objective point of view, looking at the matter from all angles. That is a topic for another discussion. I covered my view on that in a previous post.
“Richard Martinez, whose son (Christopher) was among the murdered, choked back tears at a news conference, blaming politicians the next day: “The talk about gun rights. What about Chris’ right to live?” Martinez said – and much more.
There are no critical words for a grieving father. He can say whatever he wants and blame whoever he’d like – it’s okay by me. You can’t take a step in his shoes – at least I can’t.”
Again, he expresses sympathy and validates Mr. Martinez’ words and pain. He is correct here, also. Mr. Martinez spoke from his heart. I personally, cannot imagine the pain he is in with the loss of his son. I hope to never have to “take a step in his shoes”.
“But the words and images of Mr. Martinez blaming “the proliferation of guns”, lobbyists, politicians, etc.; will be exploited by gun-grab extremists as are all tragedies involving gun violence and the mentally ill by the anti-Second Amendment Left.”
Again, he is correct. The gun control extremists will use any instance of evil to further the issue. But browse the internet for stories of situations where a person with a concealed carry permit, saved a life by using their weapon (there are many), and those voices become silent.
“As a father, husband and a man, it is my responsibility to protect my family. I will stand up for that right vehemently. Please believe me, as a father I share your grief and I will pray for you and your family, as I do whenever I hear about senseless tragedies such as this.”
Again, absolutely correct. It is not only his responsibility to his family, it is mine to my family, and yours to your family, regardless of your stance on gun rights.
“We still have the Right to Bear Arms and I intend to continue to speak out for that right, and against those who would restrict it – even in the face of this horrible incident by this sad and insane individual. I almost said “Obama Voter” but I’m waiting for it to be official.”
Two things:
- The first sentence, absolutely correct. We must stand up for our rights as defined in our Constitution. If we do not, those who seek to change it, will, either intentionally or unintentionally, destroy it, and when that is destroyed, so is our Nation.
- “Obama Voter”? Really, Joe? Just because someone voted for Obama, doesn’t necessarily make them a bad or ignorant person. While I side with you on the issue of gun rights, people who voted for Obama have their views also. That alone doesn’t mean anything.
“I noticed the mainstream media have stopped the practice of immediately reporting the psycho maniac is a conservative Tea Party Republican Christian. Guess they’re sick of having to hide being wrong every time when it comes out the whacko votes Democrat?”
I don’t have much to say here. I didn’t realize Rodger was a conservative, except that he had guns, and apparently was affluent.
“Mr. Martinez and anyone calling for more restrictions on American’s rights need to back off and stop playing into the hands of the folks who merely capitalize on these horrific events for their own political ends.”
In a nutshell, this statement speaks for itself, and I agree.
“They don’t care about your family or your dead children at all. They sound like they do, whereas I sound uncaring and like I say, harsh. Don’t be fooled – I care about your family and mine. The future of our very liberty lies in the balance of this fight.”
I wouldn’t say they don’t care. I’m sure the majority of them actually do care. I honestly believe that most people on the anti-gun side have honest, sincere concerns to validate their argument. I can understand the argument that sometimes people are killed by gunfire, and therefore guns should be illegal. i do not agree that is the answer, however. If all the guns in our country are collected and destroyed, that will not be the solution to the problem.
Why? Several reasons:
- Because it’s absurd to think that every single firearm in America can be confiscated. There are simply so many that it is physically and logically impossible.
- Heroin, cocaine, and other illegal drugs are still on the streets. And guns wouldn’t be? Come on, now. Be realistic. Elliiot Rodger had money. If guns were illegal, he could have still found a way to buy some from someone. Ok, so then what if someone doesn’t have money to burn? Ever hear of sexual favors?
- Throw the first two reasons out the window. Suppose it actually would be feasible to collect and confiscate Every. Single. One. of the guns in the United States (in 2013, 300 million civilian-owned, and that’s only the known, registered ones). People who make the decision to take a life will still find a way to do it, whether the victim be an individual, or many. Mass murders have happened throughout history, with weapons such as knives, bombs, and fire,
“In conclusion, I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are going through, having had your child taken away from you. However, any feelings you have toward my rights being taken away from me, lose those.
Sincerely;
Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher”
Here again, he extends his condolences and sympathies. The last sentence simply is a statement that he will not stand for anyone wishing to strip him of his rights as an American citizen.
“PS: To the parents of Elliot Rodger’s stabbing victims: I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m sick to death every damn time I turn around and some poor soul with obvious violent mental sickness is allowed to exact this kind of pain on a family.
Elliot Rodger deserved help, yes – but your child deserved so much more. I’m very sorry and sad for you.”
Here he addresses the other victims. Why he did not acknowledge the wounded victims, I have no idea. Simply an oversight, I would assume, but I believe that is forgivable.
Will Joe the Plumber ever win an award for tact? I highly doubt it, but how many of us are perfect with words and always say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time?
One thing that stood out to me as I read through articles regarding this letter were the comments of some of the people on the political Left. As a typical sample, here are a couple of them from Salon.com
-
“potomacflier: i actually hope something rotten happens to joe -
zatonoichi: @Crystal221 People who keep loaded guns in the house for “protection” are many times more likely to be maimed or killed by gunfire than people who don’t. FACT. realpyrateking: @zatonoichi @Crystal221 And may Joe the Fraudster find that fact out.”
Seriously, potomaciflier? You are wishing for something awful to happen to this man?
For realpyrateking… You disgust me with your comment. You are actually hoping that this man is killed or seriously injured??
Way to stay classy, guys. Way to take the high road. You two are the types of people that I really take issue with. Wishing death on people simply because you disagree with them. You are so short-sighted in your own views that you find it impossible to think objectively about something someone says, simply because they have a different opinion from your own. I hope you find peace.
To close, this was yet another horrific tragedy perpetrated by a psychotic madman, but abolishing guns and impeding or stripping the 2nd Amendment from the Constitution is not the answer. The answer lies within us as a civilized society, to decide within ourselves, to raise our children right, with morals and the common sense to know right from wrong.
Thank you for reading. Your comments are much appreciated, regardless of whether you agree with me or not. Good day.
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